gaymommy:

"take my dick baby" take it where? the park? the zoo? the store? i’m sorry man i can’t help you i don’t even have a car

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

azusas:

u think ur a flower, but really ur the whole meadow 

kanedariku:

how can people hate crunchy peanut butter…. yall need more excitement in ur lives…..

jhodgins:

3 homicides in the same month, all very similar to one another. the police department is sure they have a serial murderer on the loose, but they have no leads. soon enough they receive a threatening letter. “i know i„ killde all thos e poeple but.. nwo it  s all over the nwes and people are angyr at me and i camt stop„„ cryign im so soryr im sorry ok„ i didmt mean to caues such a fuss„„„,” the case is dropped. he was so sorry. look at all those misspelled words.

particlefucker:

dont let tumblr make you believe that

-eating car hubcaps is cool

-being an inanimate object is acceptable

-post-avant jazzcore is better than progressive dreamfunk

-having a corporeal form is healthy

-france exists

-chemtrails aren’t real

mchotney:

drarna:

DO YOU EVER GET A RING STUCK ON YOUR FINGER AND IT’S JUST LIKE NO I DIDN’T COMMIT TO THIS

image

thugmissus:

xemkgx:

do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

image

ammits420friendlychillspot:

i always thought of tumblr as like a place u go when you aint got shit to do but like the point of it is that at some point you should get to a point in your life where you leave like thats the end goal

Are you into BDSM?
Anonymous

neilnevins:

I’ve always been a fan of Bob Dylan’s Sensual Music