it sounds as though you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to accomplish art work....I know it's easier said than done but try not to be so hard on yourself. Art doesn't have to be about proving yourself. Relax, and experiment, and I promise you will create something beautiful. You won't necessarily create exactly what you envisioned, but no artist truly does.
no i want to try hard!! i want to do it, i never try that hard, i already take it easy, im about the laziest person in the world and i never work, i want to work
i have very strong images in my head but no motivation, im tired of it because i am my artwork and if it doesn’t exist then i don’t exist, i can’t keep fucking around, i have to make something, i need to make something, my body needs me to create
with my last dying breath, I’m going to gasp out that feminism doesn’t need to be sexy, and the idea of making feminism sexy most often entails catering to male fantasies and trying to reassure men that women will still be objects of fantasy even when we achieve liberation from patriarchal demands is inevitably doomed to fail because even broadening the categories of what we count as sexy still requires women derive worth from their sexual appeal.